Adorable Modern Baby Names for the New Encroaching Darkness

Modern Baby Names

Baby names of today are often a teeming mass of vowels that don’t belong and the desire for the child to be different than the other six children with their exact names in Kindergarten. We are here to help you navigate the landscape so your child will place high in the futuristic oligarchy of their adulthood. We’ve also created a fun app to create baby names that will work on any of the new mobile phones.

Fynnlyee: American. After the Pinterest Board entitled “OMG Here’s a Photo of My Pee Stick!!” meaning “vessel for Mommy’s lost identity.Lieden: American for “performs well when nothing at all matters anymore.” Excellent for future blonde journalists or a bro with a startup who will perform much crushing of “it.”

Ivankaaaargh: Russian, probably. “She with the horror-wraith half-smile of terrible beauty.” Ivankaaaarghs are gentle souls who simply do not understand the question and would rather speak of their initiatives concerning the children of somewhere.

Kyptynne: American, meaning “to cut letters out of Scrapbooking Today and rearrange them in a wad.” Ideal for a future in the spelling-things-slowly field.

Propane: American. A manly name of fire and burning. Future tribes will require his clean-burning efficiency to char the survivors of the HOA for food. No one will speak of these meals. Nickname: Hank.

Karisma: American for “white lady who constantly brings up reverse racism because remember, a Black girl was mean to her one time.”

Rhythm: American, meaning “Damn it, I thought you could count.”

Onnesstee: American for “I read it somewhere, believe me.” Denotes a truth-teller of the modern age. Anything is a truth, really, if you have good self-esteem and a louder voice than your enemies.

Cray: American, from the Urban Dictionary. Crays will be the only ones making sense in the future. Prone to shrugs.

Lakynn: American, meaning “all our walls have sayings about ‘bliss’ or ‘dancing’ on them now.”

Rory: Netflixian, meaning “one too many.” Works well in a family with “Bluth,” and “Humphrey.”

Ruger: American, fuck yeah, for “the only currency that really matters, crying snowflakes.” Ideal for he who owns the youth, as he owns the future. Originally German.

Sansa: Winterfellian, meaning “Your opinion on this female character is bad, and you should feel bad.” Excellent sister name to Skyler.

Phelonee: American for “And lo, irony limped to a sad death in the new world. All shall weep, if they still be capable.”

Offred: American, from the book “Why Did We Give Them This Idea?” meaning “All of you are named Offred now. Please proceed to the gold toilet and bow.”

Baby care tips for the new mom

Babies are the true angel of God. They are soft, tender and the most lovely thing on the earth. For the new parents, the newborn baby is a box of mystery and happiness. Parents have the foremost and first responsibility to care for them. The new parents have to struggle most to take care of the newborn. The new parents need to have sufficient knowledge how to handle feed and take proper care of the baby. As they have not any prior experience, they can learn it or take different tips from the elder members of the home. Parents should always remember that taking care of the children is the toughest thing to do in the world. Good parenting will indicate how would be your children when they grow up. Here are some tips for the new parents about how to take care of their baby.

Feed properly:

A baby only expresses its feeling by crying. It cries when it gets hurt, feel discomfort or hungry. As newborn only takes liquid mostly breastfeed milk, the mother should feed them frequently. Feeding your child time to time is important. Doctors suggest feeding the baby in every two hours. Sometimes you have to go out of the routine. You have to understand the tone of crying of your child. Before crying out of hunger, you should feed it milk.

Take care of hygiene:

Babies are so sensitive. They caught diseases very quickly from everything. So, you should take the highest care of the hygiene and cleanliness of your child. Everything you will use for your baby should be clean and germ free. It is the only way to keep your child healthy and fit. Using the baby care products is necessary. Baby soap, lotion, powder, oil, etc. things are made of special ingredients for the soft and immature skin of your baby.

Hold it properly:

You should know how to hold the baby properly. As the baby is so tender and delicate, they should be held properly. Otherwise, they could get hurt.

Choose the clothes properly:

You should choose the baby clothes properly. Soft, velvety, delicate types of clothes are appropriate for them. In the winter you should use woolen cloth for your baby. It will keep your baby warm and comfortable. In the summer season, you should choose the type of garment which absorbs the body heat and keeps the baby cool.

Be aware of the temperature of the room:

You should always be careful about the temperature of the room. It should be balanced. Too cold or hot room temperature is harmful to the baby. It may create irritation for them.

So, these are the basic tips a new mom should keep in her mind to take care of her child.